Day 19: Oct. 10, 2013

I was offered a part time position today with the Mississippi Market.  I said that I would think about it for a day and get back to him on Friday but I know I have to decline as the job is no more than 23 hours a week and I was being offered only $10/hour, which is lower than what I was making at Juut.

While I was extremely interested in working there full time, working part time there is not an option with that wage.  If I had another part time job perhaps I could make that work but I feel that it is too much for me to orchestrate right now, so it is now off the table and I move forward looking for what is next (a full time job that allows me to be available on Sundays).

This morning I went to a recruiting agency and took a battery of tests, mainly computer skills but other aptitudes were checked as well (spelling, grammar, basic mathematics).  The woman I spoke with there helped me understand that they would keep my resume on file for one year and contact me if there were any interested companies.

After that adventure I went out with my mom to lunch at a small Mexican restaurant in Inver Grove called El Loro.  I had enchiladas verdes and she had chicken fajitas.  It was very dark in there – we went with the hopes of sitting on the patio to celebrate the beautiful day but they said it was closed.

I came back to Andrew's after that and we went on a walk outside which was nice.  Now we're in the process of making meatloaf for dinner.  Let me recap my daily records.

Daily Yoga Meal:
10/10  Oatmeal with apples and flax seed.  Sat with Christine at 7:15 a.m. this morning.

Remained seated? Yes ✓  No.

Refrained from conversation while chewing?  Yes ✓  No  (if no, % of meal = __%)

Refrained from any external distractions?  Yes✓ No  

Waited until food was completely chewed and swallowed before picking up my next bite.  Yes✓  No   (if no, % of meal = __%)

Refrained from putting more than two handfuls of food on my plate at any given time, finished eating my two handfuls, then waited 3-5 minutes before taking more food. Yes✓  No

Waited 2-6 hours before taking my next meal. Yes✓ No.

Comments: I was very quiet during my meal, almost removed entirely from the social aspect of sitting together.  Christine was studying for an upcoming test, I just focused on my oatmeal.  I did enjoy the taste of cinnamon with the apples and the flax seed added a little extra crunch.  Sometimes I think flax is slippery and I don't always chew it but I made an attempt to be thorough.  Just had the one bowl and was satisfied; did not eat again until lunch (around 11:45 a.m.).


Daily Meditation:  10:00 p.m.  Sat in the dark in the living room.  The house was still.  My mind was busy with worries about declining the job offer; formulating what to say/how to come across as grateful for the offer.  Tried deep, loud ujjayi breathing and this helped me tune out the dialogue in my head.  Observed that it was possible to make resonant noises while inhaling as well as exhaling (I was formally used to hearing my breath the most loudly during the exhale).  This was interesting/held my attention.  Sometimes it sounded more like a snore than an ocean but I am okay with these descriptors.  I also notice the sound of my breathing is dependent on whether or not I have a stuffy nose; if I do it is much more shallow and I have to work harder to inhale.  Anyway, fixated on breathing I was able to become more quiet.  When it was time for mettā-meditation I focused on my gratitude;  being thankful for the positive energy surrounding me.  May it emanate from me and help those who are feeling stuck or depressed.  May all who feel lost or alone regain their sense of belonging, feel loved and remembered.


Daily Practice:  n/a   I spent the day relaxing, my muscles are feeling tight and would probably benefit from practice but I have this need to slow down, it has been a very busy week.  I plan on attending a class tomorrow morning at Highland and then again on Saturday.  My knees ache a little... perhaps it was from one of the asanas we did yesterday.  I don't know what it was called but I was seated on my mat, one leg was drawn back, the other forward, and then I was laying down on my back.  Perhaps I went too far; it did not feel that way at the time but maybe next time I will lower down on to my forearms and rest/breathe there.  It was either that activity or the "sunflower" action that Jennifer had us perform.  I will have to ask her or another instructor if they have any advice.

Daily Gratitude:  I am thankful that Joel got back to me today.  I am pleased to know that he would have hired me for the position if I had been available to work Sundays, however I know that the part time offer was not enough for meeting my needs and I will trust that something better suited will come my way.  I will not fear.  Thank you for the continuing support from Mom, Andrew and Christine.  I am thankful for my network of friends online as well supporting me on my LinkedIn profile and on Facebook.  I am also extraordinarily thankful that I have a functioning computer on which I can type and job search.  A year ago this would not have been possible, so a big thank you goes out to Matt who helped me get a generous discount on my computer.  It is a good device and will last me a long time (the previous laptop lasted 8 years without malfunction)!  I must remember to write a thank you card to Joel and Nathan for their consideration and offer as well as a card to Pauline and Molly from Valley Staffing, Inc. who helped me in my testing today.  I will keep making connections and recognize the beauty of establishing new contacts.

Day 18: Oct. 9, 2013

Today I woke up early to help Andrew make it to a meeting on time, but then I went back to sleep and slept in until 10:00 a.m.  My body sure needed rest!  I definitely feel more rejuvenated today, so that is a plus.  I took a shower and got ready for my 2:30 interview at the Mississippi Market.  It was a positive experience.  I was going to meditate in the morning but then I found myself too busy before the interview writing down questions and figuring out how I would answer the "why did you leave Juut" question.  I called my Mom; she was very helpful in conveying her perspective.  Turns out I didn't even need to go there in the interview today.  Nathan and Joel just wanted to talk about my interest in the co-op and my grocery experience/how I handle stress and conflict.  They were very approachable and I felt like I was able to vocalize things with confidence and warmth.  Joel said he wanted to have a decision made by tomorrow, so I will learn quickly whether or not they think I am a fit.  The other day in savasana the thought/worry came to me how I wasn't sure if I wanted to work full time or go back into the grocery business but today all my worries dissipated.  They were easy to talk to and I liked the environment.  I recalled how good I was at working in that setting and how much I enjoyed my time at Byerly's.  I think that working at a co-op will be more rewarding as I can connect in more of a community fashion with the guests and feel like I am a part of a team with a vision.  However, if they don't hire me I am not going to sweat it.  I am feeling forward momentum and I am not afraid of being unemployed for long.


Daily Yoga Meal:

10/9  Dinner: 8:00 p.m.  Pan cooked tilapia with brown rice and fresh spinach.

Remained seated? Yes ✓  No.

Refrained from conversation while chewing?  Yes ✓  No  (if no, % of meal = __%)

Refrained from any external distractions?  Yes  ✓ No  

Waited until food was completely chewed and swallowed before picking up my next bite.  Yes✓  No   (if no, % of meal = __%)

Refrained from putting more than two handfuls of food on my plate at any given time, finished eating my two handfuls, then waited 3-5 minutes before taking more food. Yes✓  No

Waited 2-6 hours before taking my next meal. Yes✓ No.

Comments:  I had a decent amount of food on my plate.  I did not need more after waiting 3-5 minutes.  Each bite was lovely.  Andrew had made a nice sauce to put with the fish which I never would have thought of; it had dill, golden raisins and onions in it.  The spinach was a great addition as it was fresh ad we steamed it just long enough so that it wilted.  We were fairly quiet throughout our meal; any conversation that was had was between bites and neither of us were shoveling food into our faces.


Daily Meditation:  I was going to meditate in the morning but instead today it happened in the afternoon.  I arrived at the Mississippi Market 30 minutes early, so I sat outside on a park bench and closed my eyes.  I felt indulgent with the sun on my back and a breeze blowing through my hair.  It was above 75 degrees today, a very lovely fall day.  I felt like I was soaking up information from all of my senses and it was my job to shut it out/not let it distract me.  I felt the warm air as I exhaled through my nostrils and observed how it felt cooler on the inhalation.  I thought it would be good since I had the extra time to do my meditation here because it would give me something "to do" while I waited/reduce the anxiety I was feeling/clear my mind.  It kind of helped; I was still anxious underneath it all.  Maybe I wasn't anxious, perhaps I was just excited.  In any case my brain wanted to run over prepared responses in my head and I did my best to ignore these queries.  I stopped my meditation process with about two minutes before the allotted minutes were up since I realized that I needed to go to the bathroom... excuses= lame :(  but I felt relieved and less anxious going in to my interview after sitting in a relaxed posture outside.


Daily Practice:  After my interview I spent an hour sitting outside a local coffee shop and then stopping in a Barnes and Noble where I picked up a copy of the Strengthsfinders book, which has been recommended to me on several occasions.  I thought, if I don't get the job at the co-op (and even if I do) it will be good to know in a marketable sense which strengths I possess. After these outings I went to the 4:30 p.m. Slow Burn class in Highland with Jennifer.

I felt like the pace was quick; it was very much move at your own speed and challenge yourself.  There were a lot of sunflowers, which made me very aware of my quadriceps. We did Sun Salutation A and B with some side poses as well stretching our shoulders and alternating between facing the front and the back of the room.  The Slow Burn class does emphasize keeping one's eyes closed, which can be frustrating when you're not sure which direction you should be facing but I guess if you keep your eyes closed it doesn't matter/you don't know you're facing the "wrong" direction. This of course presupposes that there is a right and a wrong way to stand; this I know isn't true but it's how I felt today whenever I shot a glance.  Also:  my mat has felt slippery lately; I guess I'm not used to sweating so much.  It's a good problem to be having but what should I do? I know some people put a towel or some fancy liner down on their mat; does this get in the way or is it really helpful so one doesn't lose grip?  I will have to investigate.


Daily Gratitude: I am happy that I was able to feel so confident during my interview today.  I also had 30+ people affirm me on my Facebook update (I don't often share personal updates on Facebook but today's positive interview felt like something I needed to share) and their affirmation just made me more positive about my experience and the direction my life is going.  My happiness does not depend on getting this job but I sure do recognize the validation and fabulousness I feel from being genuine and sharing my interests with others and hearing about what makes them tick.  Thank you for letting me share time with Nathan and Joel and get to know a little more about the environment of the West 7th MM location.  I am happy that Andrew's kitty, Zasz, was so friendly today. She approached me twice for petting and sat down on my lap and purred.  It was nice to share that time with her.  I am also grateful for the time I was able to spend on the phone with my Mother this afternoon and that I was able to share dinner with Andrew.  It is nice when I get to see him on his days off (which are in the middle of the week).  I feel well accomplished today and I am so glad to be where I am right now with the mental state that I have of wellbeing, resounding joy and feelings of stability despite the change around me.  I am thriving. This is awesome.

Day 17: Oct. 8, 2013

Wow, today was a busy day too!  Last night I got to spend some time with Andrew, he came over after he was cut (around 11:30 p.m.) – I was still awake and putting the finishing touches on yesterday's journal entry.  It was nice to catch up, I hadn't really seen him since last Thursday.  We each got to share quite a bit of information; some changes are happening at his work place too (he's a server downtown at a restaurant) – new management but ultimately this means good things, higher work standards and incentives.  While we were sitting together I also noticed that I had a sliver or something embedded in my left foot and attempted to remove it but without success (I had stepped on something sharp in the yard about a month ago when I was walking barefoot, I now think a small piece of glass is working its way out).


Anyway, recap of today:

Daily Yoga Meal:

10/8  Dinner: 7:45 p.m.  Ate an entire box of Annie's macaroni and cheese.  Yes.  Mac and Cheese.  An entire box.  On my own.  I was hungry.

Remained seated? Yes ✓  No.

Refrained from conversation while chewing?  Yes ✓  No  (if no, % of meal = __%)

Refrained from any external distractions?  Yes  No  ✓ 

Waited until food was completely chewed and swallowed before picking up my next bite.  Yes✓  No   (if no, % of meal = __%)

Refrained from putting more than two handfuls of food on my plate at any given time, finished eating my two handfuls, then waited 3-5 minutes before taking more food. Yes  No✓

Waited 2-6 hours before taking my next meal. Yes✓ No.

Comments:  Yeah, I ate an entire box of mac and cheese.  On my own... This is not a vegan choice AND it was more than two fistfuls, I am sure (I just put all of it into a bowl).  I also did not succeed in abstaining from distractions (listened to music as I ate).  Breakfast would have been a better meal to document but I thought I would try for it again this evening and it didn't work out.  The reason I am documenting this downfall is so that I might encourage myself to do better.  I've been good at getting one yoga meal a day usually, guess I'm just not at the two yoga meals mark yet.  Maybe I can aim to be there by the end of the month.

Daily Meditation:
Did a morning meditation today which was really refreshing.  Took some time before I went to yoga practice.  It was quiet in the house which was helpful (it's difficult for me to meditate/remove myself when there are other people around/audible stimuli).  Mind was really peaceful and still. Not much agitation or desire to be elsewhere/doing other things.  I did have a moment where I was afraid I had fallen asleep, my body had slouched a little bit so I had to realign myself to sit up more straight.  Wondering if anyone has tips for how to not get one or both legs to fall asleep.  I am not doing lotus position, they're just simply crossed out in front of me.  I was wondering how it would be to try chair/seated meditation with my legs straight out in front of me at a 90 degree angle. I will have to get feedback on methodologies/which is best for what I am trying to accomplish in correspondence to Astanga practice.



Daily Practice:
10/8:  Attended TWO classes today!  9:30 a.m. Slow Burn with Jan and 5:45 p.m. Hot Vinyasa also with Jan.  Both formats were new to me today.  Slow Burn accentuated moving at one's one pace (that is always KEY in yoga but today I felt it here), breathing deeply and moving slowly (hence slow burn).  In Hot Vinyasa... man there were almost 30 bodies in the room and the heat was up!  Sweat was rolling off my arms and knees and back.  We moved at a quick pace, of course in step with our own breathing but that class was a work out.

We did Sun Salutation A and B in each class but in Hot Vinyasa it was more difficult for me.  The direction of the room was different, started facing back instead of front, which was fine but I think it threw me off a little bit.  Perhaps I was also fatigued from the earlier practice? I also just came to the awareness that I have not eaten a lot today so that could have been a part of my performance as well.  My arms got quite wobbly while holding high plank near the end of class tonight.  I took a break and went into child's pose to regain strength and was called upon by Jan to get back up and to keep breathing.  I was at my edge, that is for sure.  It helped when she gave reasons for all of us to be strong; I still ached but I tried harder to stay in position after that point. 3 more breaths... and down.  Those upward facing dogs were tricky today.  Jan helped me in the morning to discover how my body COULD be in the position–a wonderful reality I had not yet experienced, my shoulders really UP and BACK; my whole self off the floor almost soaring.  I tried to emulate that upwardness in my class this evening and I think it worked for the most part, I felt higher off the floor and opened up, but I certainly was not flying like earlier.  I hope to get there some day!


Daily Gratitude:  Thank you Jan for showing me what I can accomplish in class when I am pushed to my edge.  I don't like being pushed there but I know it is good for me.  Like you said, the real struggle is not here (in the pose) but out in our daily lives, we need to stick it out, push on; get stronger.  I am thankful that I had time to share a breakfast with Andrew after Slow Burn.  I was able to witness him being a good brother to his sister (she had called with some upsetting news) and he was able to talk her down; he has such a calm demeanor and does not engage with drama.  He keeps logic and reason at the forefront and is a good foil for me.  I also am glad that met a neighbor today, Tom, who informed me that he would prefer if I did not park in front of his house; this was not upsetting and I am glad he told me his preference because I would not like to continually upset him (he lives on the opposite corner and evidently has three cars; he wanted to mention it because he likes to keep all of them there and because in the past he has had the misfortune of having people leave there cars there for weeks on end).  I am so pleased that I met a very happy bunch of dogs today;  I went with Andrew to the barber after breakfast and there were two there, just happy as punch, bringing me all their toys and telling me how happy they each were with opened mouth smiles and wagging of tails.  I miss not being around dogs.  I should visit my mother more often and check in on our family dog Sophie.  All in all this was a great day filled with wonderful interactions.  I still have work to prepare for my interview tomorrow–figure out what I am going to wear and how I will answer unexpected questions...  I will have to remind myself of things I am grateful for then so I can answer questions from my heart since that is a place of understanding and peace.

Day 16: Oct. 7, 2013

Such a busy day today.  Went to Eden Prairie this morning. Stopped at Kinko's beforehand – they were open and had my documents printed- yay!  Was at Wooddale Church from 7:15 a.m. to 12:30 p.m.  If you ever find yourself unemployed or in transition GO TO THIS GROUP.  (Their website.)  This is a ministry they provide; essentially bringing job seekers through a step-by-step process evaluating what they have been doing and what they SHOULD be doing to improve their search/process, etc.

The 6 Steps:
Step 1: Attitude
Step 2: Assessment
Step 3: Marketing Strategy
Step 4: Marketing Materials
Step 5: Interviewing
Step 6: Follow up

Anyway, my blog is not (primarily) about my job search although the process of journaling might ultimately reveal where I'm supposed to be.  After that finished I helped my uncle Svend for about four hours, we went to Menards (twice) and picked up a total of sixty cement pieces of pavement for his yard (not quite cobblestone but similar in shape/function).  Each piece weighed in at 22 pounds... it was a good work out.  We also went to Trader Joe's and he stocked up on trail mix and yogurt.  You see, my uncle doesn't have a car so he enlisted my help since he knew that I was not working and he took me out to dinner as a form of thanks.  We went to the Cleveland Wok.  After dinner I dropped him off and then I came home.  I took some time to enjoy sitting and then I changed into yoga gear.  I then went to class (with the intention of going to Slow Burn and then Yin, but I had the wrong start time in mind so I just did the Yin practice).  After class I spoke with Jan and her husband.  They are very supportive of my current position–it was nice to share my story with them.

Daily Yoga Meal Record:

10/7  Had dinner with uncle at Cleveland Wok. 

Remained seated? Yes ✓  No.

Refrained from conversation while chewing?  Yes ✓  No  (if no, % of meal = __%)

Refrained from any external distractions?  Yes ✓   No 

Waited until food was completely chewed and swallowed before picking up my next bite.  Yes✓  No   (if no, % of meal = __%)

Refrained from putting more than two handfuls of food on my plate at any given time, finished eating my two handfuls, then waited 3-5 minutes before taking more food. Yes ✓ No.

Waited 2-6 hours before taking my next meal. Yes✓ No.

Comments:  The Cleveland Wok is a Chinese buffet-style restaurant.  I did have two platefuls ultimately but I did wait about five minutes between them.  We did not talk a lot. I spoke mainly when I was waiting to see if I was satiated (and listened the rest of the time).  The jasmine tea was nice; I enjoyed two cream cheese wantons, one fried egg roll, a side of fried rice, fresh vegetables with chicken and one steamed dumpling, which I am sure was filled with pork.

Daily Meditation:

10/7  Before I started my blogging tonight I took 20 minutes to meditate (it was around 10:15 p.m. - so late!).  My mind was really still, I think doing a Yin practice beforehand helped.  Not as much anxiety/fewer thoughts about the past or the future.  A couple of times I had to remind myself to focus on my breath because there were subtle images that distracted me (i.e. thoughts about people I had interacted with; the phone call I had on my way home from yoga with Amy).  But over all, less wild then other evening meditations.  I would have preferred to have meditated in the morning but with my busy schedule this was the first opportunity I had to just stop and sit.  Mettā-meditation was pure gratitude, extending thanks to Amy and Christine for their willingness to prepare for my upcoming interview with the Mississippi Market and a resounding thanks for my uncle for his support today.  Grateful that I could help him accomplish his heavy lifting/errands.  

Daily Practice:

10/7  Attended 8:15 p.m. Yin class with Jan.  I had a lot of discomfort in my hips and lower back but some of the extended side bends were helpful, especially on my left side when I had help with an adjustment.  It made all the difference, I was not open/facing up and when Jan helped twist my body I felt things open and lift and I could breathe more clearly and deeply, sinking deeper into my left side and stretch my tight hamstring muscles and the muscles along my back/ribs.  This class was a great help.  All day my neck has been stiff and my upper back/muscles along my ribs have been achey.  I feel like I am now rested and will be able to move better tomorrow.

Daily Gratitude:

10/7  I am so grateful for the opportunity to go to Wooddale Church on the recommendation of Christopher.  I feel compelled to return next week for further ideas although I feel like I can have a go on my own for a while too and see how it goes utilizing these new techniques and awareness.  I am thankful that I was able to spend time with my uncle today and help him with a project.  I am thankful that the Grocery Manager at the Mississippi Market wants to interview me AND that I got an email from Valley Staffing, Inc. expressing interest as well.  I am pleasantly surprised at the possibility of working at Lifetime Fitness as a part of their reception team (Jan just brought this up tonight as a temporary option).  I am also so pleased that I was able to spend just over an hour on the phone catching up with my best friend Amy.  I am thankful for her listening ear and feedback.  I am thankful now that I get to get ready for bed and get ready to go all out tomorrow – Slow Burn yoga at 9:30 a.m. with Jan and then to weekly tasks/preparing for interview(s).

Day 15: Oct. 6, 2013

Today was my Dad's birthday (and his first day at his new congregation in Iowa).  From the sound of it, it will be a busy year for him there.  I wish him all the best.

I learned a lot in class today.  I had several opportunities to teach and with repetition/practice, I felt a strong improvement in my presence and ability to convey instructions.  I was able to teach Mary and Sarah Sun Salutation A; and then I worked with Patience three or four times practicing the Sun Salutation B sequence (more on that later).  There are certainly more parts to that one than SSA but I feel like the flow is quite simple.  Patience thinks I can work on my delivery, slow it down; also get closer to the student, apply hands.  I am not quite there yet but I appreciate the feedback!

Tomorrow morning I will be going to a networking event/resume building workshop in Eden Prairie per the recommendation of Christopher/Courtney.  Having written that, I am reminding myself to send a thank you to Barry, Anna and Zach for the wonderful experience I had with them last week despite the fact I did not take the job with the Boy Scouts.  Good to practice gratitude.


Daily Yoga Meal Record:
10/6   Life Cafe with Joan.  I ate a piece of butternut squash, a handful of grapes and a handful of popcorn.

Remained seated? Yes ✓  No.
Refrained from conversation while chewing?  Yes ✓  No  (if no, % of meal = __%)
Refrained from any external distractions?  Yes   No ✓
Waited until food was completely chewed and swallowed before picking up my next bite.  Yes✓  No   (if no, % of meal = __%)
Refrained from putting more than two handfuls of food on my plate at any given time, finished eating my two handfuls, then waited 3-5 minutes before taking more food. Yes ✓ No.
Waited 2-6 hours before taking my next meal. Yes✓ No.

Comments:  It was difficult avoiding external distractions today. There was a flat screen t.v. over Joan's head that was broadcasting CNN; I was continually tempted to read the news that was scrolling along the bottom of the screen.  I was able to eat food without talking and took time to fully listen to her.  I was able to set my fork down between bites and savor the textures of my different items, which made for an engaging experience. The food was simple but I count it a success/memorable meal today.



Daily Meditation:  Performed meditation after class with group.  It was a good experience.  Only one of my legs fell asleep and I didn't muster to move it during the practice, I was able to ignore the annoyance my body insisted in informing me of and just focus on my breath.  A few times I caught my mind drift into mental conversations with others – what was it she said to me again? and then set it aside, remembering it is time for meditation; set it aside and come back to it later.



Daily Practice: Today practiced with the group under Jason's leadership. Astanga Vinyasa.  Primarily the Sun Salutation A and B sequences with a few balancing poses including Utthita Hasta Padangustasana:

We concluded our practice with an inversion (plow pose) and two back bends bridge pose and fish pose before going into our final resting pose: savasana.

Halasana  or  Plow Pose

Setu Banda Sarvangasana  or  Bridge Pose

Matsyana  or  Fish pose

Daily Gratitude:

I am so pleased that I was able to get to YTT on time despite the marathon traffic (and that all pedestrians were safe, there were many cars on the road).  Not only did I make it on time, but practice was great building on the readings I did from Birch's Power Yoga.  I am excited to learn more and continue to deepen my practice.  I was less nervous today and I am thankful for Mary and Sarah for getting me started – they encouraged me through the first set of Sun Salutation A's.  I have a feeling we're on a roll now.  It is amazing to think we are already on our way to week 3 of 20.  I am gearing up for tomorrow; glad that I was able to utilize Kinko's website and get some resumes printed.  They should be ready for pick up tomorrow, not it is up to me to go to bed on time and wake up and get out the door! I need to be in Eden Prairie by 7:00 a.m.  May I rest deeply and wake up on time.  I would love to get this week off to a good start, last week was so productive and I am SO SO glad that it was! I must also say: yay! thank goodness that I did NOT put my cell phone through the washing machine this evening... I had misplaced it and was in a panic when I could not find it to call my Dad to wish him a happy birthday.  Thankfully Philippa called it a few times and I found it under a pile of books.  So so pleased that I don't have to pay to replace it... :)  May everyone have a wonderful night's rest and a good week ahead.  I am sending out positive vibes to everyone I know.  Much love.

Day 14: Oct. 5, 2013

Daily Yoga Meal Record:
10/5  12:15 p.m.  Ate a piece of butternut squash.  Felt like I needed something fresh and warm today.  Albeit it wasn't a complete meal, I took my time and enjoyed the flavor of fall.  I did add some butter to it as well as a little sea salt. Each bite full felt bright and made me think of other warm fall foods/drinks. Excited for cider and other baked dishes.

Daily Meditation Record:
10/5  11:40 a.m.  Thoughts surfaced on whether or not I should contact the owner of Juut regarding my dismissal;  I have been urged to do so by so many people but I don't know if this would be productive or just make me fixate on disappointment/suffering.  I held my hands together, wrapped around the warmth of a mug of hot chocolate.  I did not drink.  I observed the warmth in my hands and the aroma that drifted up towards me.  I tried to focus on breathing in and out.  My thoughts brought me towards connections on LinkedIn; improving my profile.  Return to breathing in and out.  Observed through closed lids the sound of traffic outside; observed the warmth of sunlight streaming through the window after a grey morning.  Anxious to get outside and feel warmth on my skin.  Return to breath.  Trying to decide what to do with my day. What to wear to drop off my applications to Mississippi Market and Half Price Books.  I tell myself not to think about it anymore; push it aside, return to my breath. A very active session of meditation.  Mettā-meditation was focused on thankfulness for rest and relaxation; wishing others the ability to slow down and enjoy the Saturday morning.

Daily Practice Record: n/a
10/5  Today was my day of rest.  I was going to go to the Hot Vinyasa and then the Yin class today but I was feeling burnt out when I work up and realized that I have not taken a day off this week.  I am taking this day for myself. Doing journaling, meditation, reading and contemplation for the future.  I think I will also write a few thank you cards and work on cover letters for applications for the coming week.

Daily Gratitude:
10/5  I was able to sleep in today, I did not feel rushed in any of my activities.  Spent some time reading, was able to answer questions related to readings for yoga instruction.  Submitted two job applications.  Was able to see my Mother and dog Sophie.  Got to spend some time with Philippa; we watched an episode of HIMYM and BBT.  Ate dinner together with Bryce; did some cleaning.  Now enjoying a quiet evening before a long day tomorrow (I guess I just anticipate being busy/tired after class).  I am thankful for all that I accomplished today and for the quiet time I have been given.  I've been able to catch up on some rest and continue forward on my path toward the unknown.


And for the homework –

I am currently reading:  Power Yoga: The Total Strength and Flexibility Workout by Beryl Bender Birch.  She has a nice way of writing that encourages the reader to take his or her time reading the material and consider how his or her body responds to breath and movement.  I think one of the most poignant statements she has made thus far is:

...what we will learn from our yoga practice is that much of our healing potential is in our own hands, and our active participation is frequently the essential element in effective medical therapy and long-lasting health (pp. 28).

and for those who are skeptical on how yoga can work for a beginner:

Doing Power Yoga (*i.e. astanga vinyasa) is an ideal way to start a fitness program and an ideal aid to continue a sport or fitness program for life.  It can be done on its own or as a companion to sport. It will slowly teach you discipline and self-awareness–not rigid, unyielding discipline, but doable discipline. It will teach you to be hard with yourself as well as soft–to work hard and sweat and to rest and recover. It will work on your body, your mind, your whole self (pp. 28).                       

 *my words added here for clarification.

I think she also does a great job of explaining why heated yoga is so beneficial. Before I started my yoga teacher training, I thought heated yoga was a gimmick and never understood how it could actually be helpful/aligned with traditional teachings:

"The primary ingredient of the Power Yoga practice–and what makes it so particularly effective as physical therapy–is heat. Think of what a glass blower can do with a piece of glass tubing when it is heated.  The glass can be shaped into swans, baskets, and unicorns. But imagine trying to reshape the glass without the heat? What would happen? You would end up with a pile of shattered glass.

"The heat does more, though, than allow us to realign our frame without breaking. As the connective tissue becomes heated by our practice, it becomes less "solid" and more "liquid." We become pliable for reshaping. In this pliable state, we apply the form of the practice that begins the remolding process...

"The practice can then undo the rigidity and create more space for intercellular fluids to circulate and bring in nutrients while carrying off toxins. So not only does the practice work on restoring function to an injured area and facilitating realignment, but it also works to detoxify the organs and tissue and revitalize the entire system (27)."

As you can see, the idea of heat is central to the success of the practice in the astanga vinyasa tradition.  Being aware of one's breath (pranayama), utilizing energy locks (bandhas) keep the heat building as practitioners flow from one posture to the next in the series.  With awareness and practice we can control how energy is sent through the body.  I am so glad she went through this because it makes sense to me now.  As I am practicing I will better appreciate the heated environment and see it as fostering growth and improvement as I deepen and strengthen in each asana.

Day 13: Oct. 4, 2013

Daily Yoga Meal Record:
10/3  10:00 a.m.  Had a muffin and chai latte at Fresh Grounds Coffee Shop with Courtney.

Remained seated? Yes ✓  No.
Refrained from conversation while chewing?  Yes   No ✓ (if no, % of meal = 70%)
Refrained from any external distractions?  Yes ✓  No
Waited until food was completely chewed and swallowed before picking up my next bite.  Yes✓  No   (if no, % of meal = __%)
Refrained from putting more than two handfuls of food on my plate at any given time, finished eating my two handfuls, then waited 3-5 minutes before taking more food. Yes ✓ No.
Waited 2-6 hours before taking my next meal. Yes✓ No.

Comments:  It was good to meet with Courtney and connect about the week and share experiences.  She and her husband have been a great support to me after my dismissal at Juut.  I ate a muffin during our conversation. There were a few times I had to remind myself to take a moment to focus on the food in my mouth before talking/responding to her questions.  Good to have fellowship.  She reminded me of a few Old Testament stories which were really relevant to recent experiences; in essence reminding me of trust and providence.


Daily Meditation:
10/3  1:00 p.m.  After working on some applications I took a break to just sit.  I had better luck this afternoon than I have during some evening meditations but it still wasn't as "productive" as my morning meditations.  Perhaps this just means I need to work with more intent to stay focused (this would be good for me).  My mettā-meditation focused on gratitude for motivation.



Daily Practice:
10/3  Attended 4:30 practice of Slow Burn today at Life Power.  Again, instructor mentioned she was subbing for Jennifer but did not mention her name... I meant to ask her afterwards but she disappeared.

Good focus today inward.  Enjoyed sequence from downward facing dog to warrior one to humble warrior to modified side angle to some sort of squat, then half way lift then chaturunga back down into down dog.  Easy flow, very soothing for me today.  Her statement at the end of savasana into our seated upright position for closure was about change and being okay with that.  I know she was talking about the seasons but it felt VERY appropriate for me today.


Daily Gratitude:
10/3  Grateful to have made it through this week. Have talked to so many helpful people.  Today I chatted with a woman from Blue Cross Blue Shield who made my day; she explained all the price points and differences between short rate plans and wow they are all very affordable.  I am no longer worried about not having coverage.  Sounds like my plan from Juut is still in effect until the end of the month.  The state of MN also sent me some unemployment information and I filled out a career exploration/plan sheet.  There will be free classes I can go to for improving my resume and interviewing skills.  I am so excited and grateful for this opportunity!  As Bryce put it, what a surprising way to get a free ticket/new start into my future!  Heard from Dad, he made it to Iowa and is safe from the storms they are having down there.  I am now enjoying a fall evening with a fire in the living room fireplace.  Don't know what my plans will be for tomorrow but I am so pleased at how well this week has gone – how productive I have been and again, so overwhelming grateful for the support I have had from colleagues, friends and family.