This week I have been asked to keep track of moments of empathy and to note my reactions. I'm not really sure if I am supposed to notice others' empathy or my own... so to start I will write about my own.
Today I practiced patience over the phone with each person I spoke with. I feel like I was able to connect with each person and hear their story. I felt like I was not only doing my job but taking the time to observe them in however they were feeling as they spoke with me. Most were pleasant conversationalists and those who were impatient I could tell sensed that I was trying to take my time with them and I sensed their tension release a bit.
I think my favorite moment today was when I was at a register paying for a meal. I noticed what I thought was a GIANT grapefruit, of which I made a comment to the cashier. She mentioned how they were her favorite fruit and I saw her eyes light up. She told me that where she came from they are called "pomelo" and that they are very sweet if you let them sit for a week or more (I later learned when I came home that pomelo and grapefruit are different fruit but closely related). I thanked her for her service and wished her a warm and happy evening. Her eyes twinkled once more and I sensed a genuine smile from her as she wished the same for me. A simple interaction between two people, but delightful. I felt like I was taking home the feeling of warmth, happiness and satisfaction rather than a container of leftover pad thai. I think what makes the difference is taking the time to connect and ask something about the other person (or something that interests them) to create a genuine/memorable connection. In terms of empathy, it means not shutting people out but welcoming them in, regardless of where they are in their day or how they are feeling. Making room for their response whatever it may be and allowing myself to be comfortable with knowing that others might not make the same allowance for connection or time with me and to respect their boundary/wish for time/space.
I am thankful that my car started this morning without much hesitation. I am thankful that I was able to share dinner with my mom at our favorite Chinese restaurant (which we have been going to since I was four years old, maybe even younger). Thankful for fresh fruit; I had two clementines today... and candied pecans from Local 48, Atlanta. Their letter was so gracious, thanking Local 34 for extending work opportunities to their members throughout this past year. It is good to be reminded of generosity, whether it be of time or resources – may we all share as we are best able.
Monday, December 9, 2013
Sunday, December 8, 2013
Day 77: Dec. 8, 2013
The following is an email I wrote in Jan's absence to our class recapping the week and highlighting homework.
Hello Tribe! Claire here with a recap/homework for the week ahead –
Today we talked about Part One of Dr. Dean Ornish's Program for Reversing Heart Disease. After sharing excerpts and thoughts about the book it seems that we all took away the concept that isolation creates dis-ease and connection and intimacy create healing. If you haven't already completed reading part one of the book, it is recommended that you do so :)
Dean pointed out a wise nugget he picked up somewhere on the difference between Illness and wellness (which was also in our reading, Dr. Ornish talks about the dangers of I versus we).If we had an interest in reading more on mind/body connection, Jason recommended a book called Molecules of Emotion by Candace Pert. This book further illustrates how connections influence well being.
We reviewed the five types of adjustments:
1. Presence
2. Verbal cues
3. Press points
4. Physical manipulation
5. Modeling (as the least often used method)
To emphasize presence, we went through several exercises to help us increase our understanding and experience of empathy. Michelle emphatically stressed how important she has found empathy to be as a teacher; to have students feel like the teacher is WITH them and not above them.
The first exercise we did was with a single partner. We sat together and spent ten minutes looking into each other's eyes. This experience revealed different things for each person (some vulnerability, others laughter) but overall we took away a sense of connection and love that we can have for another if we just take the time to see another person/that "hate" is very difficult to experience when we realize that another person is so very much like us...
Two links here to share. One is "Touching Strangers" by Richard Rinaldi (click link for YouTube video).
The other is by Marina Abramovic´ e Ulay – MOMA 2010. (Watch this one, it is amazing.)
Next we formed groups of three and took turns being the observer watching two students. Two in the group would practice Sun Salutations A/B while the third person as the teacher simply watched. After four minutes, the teacher would share what they observed and the students would confirm or clarify what the teacher observed about their practice (if the teacher's observations were accurate or not). Most found they were.
Jason stressed to us here that it is important for us to keep practicing our teaching of the short form Ashtanga and the Vinyasa variations so that we don't have to spend any time thinking about logistics and can focus more on our students/helping them when we spot areas that we can assist.
Our next exercise we found ourselves with one partner. We sat back to back and observed each other's breathing. After several minutes of silent observation, one partner would turn around to face the other partner's back, place their hands on that person's back and simply feel their breath. After another minute or so the partner, having laid their hands on the other partner's back, would begin to massage the seated partner. We each took turns being the recipient and the giver of massage, allowing intuition and trust guide us. Again, this exercise taught us the power of touch, connection and kinship.
We then discussed that there are two qualities that ensure growth as a yoga teacher:
1. Empathy (as previously discussed)
2. Grit (sticking with it)
We proceeded to practice both of these qualities with our final group exercise for the day. In groups of three we practiced creating sacred space, introducing ujjayi pranayama, guiding/reminding/letting flow on their own Sun Salutation A/B Vinyasa variations (using verbal cues/hands in empathic way to relate to the student). The final challenge was integrating benefits - if possible! Each person in the group of three had the chance to be a teacher while the other two participated as students; we each were able to receive and give constructive feedback.
Finally we were given a few quick press point ideas/options for physical manipulation:
*cupping/pressing opposite shoulders in utkatasana twist
*squaring hips/pressing through heel/pressing bent knee further forward/lifting arms up or back to increase chest expansion in virabhadrasana 1.
HOMEWORK:
- Continue Daily Disciplines (Yoga Meal, Yoga Practice, Meditation, Gratitude).
- Read introduction to Light on Yoga/ be prepared to share 2-3 thoughts/insights on reading/have a question for the group. (Can do study guide questions too.)
- Attend 1+ Hot Vinyasa class at a Lifetime
* Practice teaching at least 3 times. Continue to practice creating sacred space, establishing ujjayi pranayama breath, introduce bandhas, vinayasa variations A/B and incorporate adjustments into teaching practice.
- Journal about moments of empathy and connection. What results does it create?
Special Assignment!! If your schedule allows attend one or all of the following short form Ashtanga classes taught by ouramazing classmates:
*Dean will be teaching at 6:30 p.m. on Tuesday, December 10 at Eden Prairie Athletic Club on Prairie Center Drive (be there or be square).
*Mary is subbing for Jan at Highland this Thursday, December 12 at 12:00/noon.
*Kara is leading the 6:00 a.m. class here at Highland this Friday, December 13. (REPLY ALL/CORRECT ME IF I'M WRONG ABOUT THIS ONE!)
So many opportunities to grow in our practice and support one another. Make a great week!
Love,
Claire
**Oh and one more video link! I saw this yesterday after finishing my reading and thought it was worth sharing. I hope that cases of cancer do go down within our lifetime as more and more people learn about healthier ways of living, but while cancer remains I hope that we can provide hope and light to those who otherwise feel downtrodden... I thought this video/experience was great as it allowed these people to alleviate their suffering/forget the circumstance that otherwise is a crushing weight on each of them every day. Maybe we can do this for people too? Perhaps not with makeup and fancy hairdo's, but hey why not try with yoga?
"20 cancer patients participated in a unique makeover experience. They were invited to a studio. Their hair and makeup were completely redone. During the transformation, they were asked to keep their eyes shut. A photographer then immortalized the moment they opened their eyes. This discovery allowed them to forget their illness, IF ONLY FOR A SECOND. "
Monday, December 2, 2013
Day 71: Dec. 2, 2013
It snowed today. After work I decided to stay home and do my yoga practice alone. I set up a fire in the fireplace and practiced in the living room when my housemates were out to dinner. I only did my Sun Salutations today but that was enough for me. I don't know why Mondays are so difficult but I feel exhausted inevitably every Monday evening. Had I headed straight to Lifetime from work I would have had to wait two hours for class... so going home and staying there seems more my speed (especially on a night when traffic is a standstill in response to the first snow of the season). Blah blah, no one needs to read this stuff. "Excuses just satisfy the ones who make them" said Mr. Lofboom, my 7th grade English composition teacher.
It was interesting not practicing with my mat (it was in the trunk of my car and I did not care to go outside to fetch it once I changed into my yoga attire). I practiced barefoot on the rug and found it was very difficult to maintain my balance/grip. It's amazing how much work our feet do to keep us grounded all the time. I felt some tightness in my hamstrings and quadriceps today. I almost glided into my up dogs, so that was kind of cool. The sequences did heat up my core quickly today. Perhaps it was because I was working so hard to get my feet to keep my grounded but I felt like my mala and uddiayana bandhas were fully engaged and roaring with heat.
During my meditation I had the thought come to me that I shouldn't avoid doing what I'm interested despite my hesitation regarding finances. I am interested in studying massage and Reiki; what is stopping me? Me. As Cloud Cult says "You're the Only Thing in Your Way." I'm not sure if I want to practice ONE of these things more than another but I think they would all work well, holistically together. I am also still drawn towards arts education (but haven't decided exactly what that means yet). I had to work hard to keep my focus on my breath because I was so excited by my discovery (that I am the one blocking myself, no one else). I am so much more powerful and capable than I give myself credit for. This is my one life, I want to be sure I use it fully to educate and love others. I want to promote healing and understanding. I want to share peace and calm, offer serenity, joy and connection.
For my yoga meal I will write about my breakfast. I did not sit down, I ate standing in the kitchen next to Pippa this morning at 6:15 a.m. I ate a fried egg with mushrooms and a sliced up onion and the remaining half of a leftover sweet potato. I think this meal was beneficial for my good start today. I did not get hungry until about 10:30 a.m. which is later than usual, I'm typically craving sustenance around 9:00. It was good eating next to her, hearing about her night and generally just sharing the moment. We were rushed but I did not talk with food in my mouth and I ate each bite fully before starting the next. Having something different helped me savor the pleasant and varied flavors present in my dish. I highly recommend improvising breakfast to anyone who is reading this; cereal can be great but it can be so blah that there isn't much to think about or appreciate. Eating a warm non-traditional meal helped me remember to take notice of the food I was preparing/eating. It wasn't my plan to have a sweet potato with breakfast but I think I will make it a more regular thing (at least during this season of the year)! Talk about breakfast with a punch (of vitamins).
I am grateful for a warm fire, a comfy couch to sit on; a safe drive home. I am grateful that my Mom was able to get help from AAA to get access to her car (she locked her keys, phone and purse inside). Thank goodness she wasn't locked out of work – I cannot imagine her having to find her way in the dark on the icy sidewalk shuffling her way to a pay phone (do those still exist? I know there is a gas station about a mile from her work). I am grateful that my friend Brigit survived a fire that occurred last Friday in her apartment building in Chicago. May she be able to have her own space once again before too long and may her neighbors, who were less fortunate and lost a dog and most of their belongings, may this event show them the generous and loving nature of those surrounding them/may they not be in want of any necessity.
I am grateful for my overwhelming desire to contribute or give back to people; my desire to share extends beyond those I know personally to friends of the family (and strangers). I am SO happy to hear the Chris, a woman that attends the Sunday yoga class, found a job at the UMN/Fairview clinic. She was unemployed right around the time I was offered the job at the Union, so I am happy we were able to reconnect and that she has had success – she is working right where she wanted to be! I am happy to know that Connie's cat Hendrix pulled through, his vet said he wasn't doing well on Thanksgiving but he managed to survive the holiday and has come back strong.
I am thankful for the Christmas tree in our living room. I grew up with plastic trees and this one is triumphant in its stance. These pictures are just close ups of their ornaments but again, majestic :) It's great to have the smell of evergreen in the house, it's new to me and I keep wondering where it is coming from, then I remember – the tree! I don't know if I would ever choose to buy a tree or have one cut down for my living room in the future (so much to take care of) but I will enjoy this one.
It was interesting not practicing with my mat (it was in the trunk of my car and I did not care to go outside to fetch it once I changed into my yoga attire). I practiced barefoot on the rug and found it was very difficult to maintain my balance/grip. It's amazing how much work our feet do to keep us grounded all the time. I felt some tightness in my hamstrings and quadriceps today. I almost glided into my up dogs, so that was kind of cool. The sequences did heat up my core quickly today. Perhaps it was because I was working so hard to get my feet to keep my grounded but I felt like my mala and uddiayana bandhas were fully engaged and roaring with heat.
During my meditation I had the thought come to me that I shouldn't avoid doing what I'm interested despite my hesitation regarding finances. I am interested in studying massage and Reiki; what is stopping me? Me. As Cloud Cult says "You're the Only Thing in Your Way." I'm not sure if I want to practice ONE of these things more than another but I think they would all work well, holistically together. I am also still drawn towards arts education (but haven't decided exactly what that means yet). I had to work hard to keep my focus on my breath because I was so excited by my discovery (that I am the one blocking myself, no one else). I am so much more powerful and capable than I give myself credit for. This is my one life, I want to be sure I use it fully to educate and love others. I want to promote healing and understanding. I want to share peace and calm, offer serenity, joy and connection.
For my yoga meal I will write about my breakfast. I did not sit down, I ate standing in the kitchen next to Pippa this morning at 6:15 a.m. I ate a fried egg with mushrooms and a sliced up onion and the remaining half of a leftover sweet potato. I think this meal was beneficial for my good start today. I did not get hungry until about 10:30 a.m. which is later than usual, I'm typically craving sustenance around 9:00. It was good eating next to her, hearing about her night and generally just sharing the moment. We were rushed but I did not talk with food in my mouth and I ate each bite fully before starting the next. Having something different helped me savor the pleasant and varied flavors present in my dish. I highly recommend improvising breakfast to anyone who is reading this; cereal can be great but it can be so blah that there isn't much to think about or appreciate. Eating a warm non-traditional meal helped me remember to take notice of the food I was preparing/eating. It wasn't my plan to have a sweet potato with breakfast but I think I will make it a more regular thing (at least during this season of the year)! Talk about breakfast with a punch (of vitamins).
I am grateful for a warm fire, a comfy couch to sit on; a safe drive home. I am grateful that my Mom was able to get help from AAA to get access to her car (she locked her keys, phone and purse inside). Thank goodness she wasn't locked out of work – I cannot imagine her having to find her way in the dark on the icy sidewalk shuffling her way to a pay phone (do those still exist? I know there is a gas station about a mile from her work). I am grateful that my friend Brigit survived a fire that occurred last Friday in her apartment building in Chicago. May she be able to have her own space once again before too long and may her neighbors, who were less fortunate and lost a dog and most of their belongings, may this event show them the generous and loving nature of those surrounding them/may they not be in want of any necessity.
I am grateful for my overwhelming desire to contribute or give back to people; my desire to share extends beyond those I know personally to friends of the family (and strangers). I am SO happy to hear the Chris, a woman that attends the Sunday yoga class, found a job at the UMN/Fairview clinic. She was unemployed right around the time I was offered the job at the Union, so I am happy we were able to reconnect and that she has had success – she is working right where she wanted to be! I am happy to know that Connie's cat Hendrix pulled through, his vet said he wasn't doing well on Thanksgiving but he managed to survive the holiday and has come back strong.
I am thankful for the Christmas tree in our living room. I grew up with plastic trees and this one is triumphant in its stance. These pictures are just close ups of their ornaments but again, majestic :) It's great to have the smell of evergreen in the house, it's new to me and I keep wondering where it is coming from, then I remember – the tree! I don't know if I would ever choose to buy a tree or have one cut down for my living room in the future (so much to take care of) but I will enjoy this one.
Sunday, December 1, 2013
Day 70: Dec. 1, 2013
Today was the first Sunday of Advent. I did not go to church (I haven't for quite some time) but I thought of my Mom and Dad and remembered this day. I wondered what the liturgy was, so I looked it up. All the readings from the ELCA website were about being ready, anticipation of the coming of Christ. I guess this makes sense in preparation for Christmas. I'm just used to the idea that the readings are more reflective of the anticipation of the birth of Jesus than the ministry of Jesus.
[The lectionary for Year A. Subsequent information on Year A, B, C and how they differ.]
In YOGA news:
I woke up around 8:30 a.m. Had a bowl of oatmeal. Got ready and then went to 11:15 Ashtanga yoga, led this week by Jan. There were several moments where we laughed as a group. A first: I loved the inclusion of Amos Lee's Keep it Loose, Keep it Tight song during savasana.
Usually I'm disturbed by music but since I was not trying to quiet my mind at this time I just found myself smiling in response to the music and lyrics of this song. I had one tear (usually when I cry, I'm a bawling wreck). While it was not a huge sob fest - I did feel a gentle happy release. I remembered when I first heard this song, back at Saint Olaf. It touched me then but it touches me differently now, having a better understanding of adult life (paying rent, appreciating greatness in the man I choose to be in a relationship with; recognizing what beauty is and where it's found - in everyone around me).
Following class we had a 30 minute meditation, I was asked to lead mettā-meditation which caught me by surprise. It was a pleasant experience, much like leading a family prayer. One woman even took the opportunity to ask for loving thoughts for her friend who was going through cancer. I did not quite know how to wrap things up but Jan gracefully took over and we ended with our typical saying "may all beings feel peace, may all beings share love and compassion." She did not share any feedback afterwards so apparently my freeform method worked out. So that was funny. I was ready to lead a Sun Salutation A or B sequence but did not anticipate being called on for mettā-meditation. Good surprise to have I guess. After class I spoke with Aviel. He wasn't feeling too well, so we post-poned our practice teaching session which actually was a relief. I was happy to have the day free to go grocery shopping, enjoy a walk and catch up on some more reading.
Yoga Meal: After I went grocery shopping I came home and cut open a grapefruit. I ate both halves of it without any added sugar, just as it was. I made sure to enjoy the juice left from the remaining pulp inside the rind, which I squeezed into my bowl. After waiting several minutes I found that I was still hungry so I prepare a bowl of almond granola with whole fat yogurt. This was very satisfying. I remained seated throughout my meal (aside from getting up to prepare the bowl of granola). I had no interruptions/did not speak to anyone while I was eating. I was not rushed and was able to take the time to consider each bite. I savored the richness present in each of the items I chose for my meal. Overall, a success!
Gratitude: Thankful for this long weekend, 4 days. Time with loved ones. Time alone. Enjoyed a fireplace, a few walks, several cups of tea. Met my goal of drinking eight glasses of water three days in a row now. Met my sleep goal each night over this break as well (despite being kept up late with a house party next door last night and a house party here on Wednesday). Hoping I can bring the energy and wellness with me into this week. Heading to bed now so I can wake up refreshed and ready to give tomorrow/next week my all. Peace be to all. Happiness be with all. May there be less suffering and more understanding in our world. Goodnight.
[The lectionary for Year A. Subsequent information on Year A, B, C and how they differ.]
In YOGA news:
I woke up around 8:30 a.m. Had a bowl of oatmeal. Got ready and then went to 11:15 Ashtanga yoga, led this week by Jan. There were several moments where we laughed as a group. A first: I loved the inclusion of Amos Lee's Keep it Loose, Keep it Tight song during savasana.
Amos' lyrics to Keep it Loose, Keep it Tight:
Well I walked over the
bridge
Into the city where I
live,
and I saw my old landlord.
Well we both said hello,
There was no where else to
go,
'cuz his rent I couldn't
afford.
Well relationships
change,
Oh I think it's kinda
strange,
How money makes a man
grow.
Some people they claim,
If you get enough fame,
You live over the rainbow.
Over the rainbow...
But the people on the
street,
Out on buses or on feet,
We all got the same blood
flow.
Oh, in society,
every
dollar got a deed,
We all need a place so we can go,
and feel over the
rainbow.
But sometimes,
We forget what we got,
Who we are.
Oh who are
are not.
I think we gotta chance,
To make it right.
Keep it loose,
Keep it tight.
Keep it tight.
I'm in love with a girl,
Who's in love with the
world,
Though I can't help but
follow.
Though I know some day,
She is bound to go away,
And stay over the rainbow.
Gotta learn how to let her
go.
Over the rainbow.
Sometimes we forget who we
got,
Who they are.
Oh, who
they are not.
There is so much more in
love,
Than black and white.
Keep it loose child,
Gotta keep it tight.
Keep it loose child,
Keep it tight.
**I highlighted some of the words that stuck out to me today.
Following class we had a 30 minute meditation, I was asked to lead mettā-meditation which caught me by surprise. It was a pleasant experience, much like leading a family prayer. One woman even took the opportunity to ask for loving thoughts for her friend who was going through cancer. I did not quite know how to wrap things up but Jan gracefully took over and we ended with our typical saying "may all beings feel peace, may all beings share love and compassion." She did not share any feedback afterwards so apparently my freeform method worked out. So that was funny. I was ready to lead a Sun Salutation A or B sequence but did not anticipate being called on for mettā-meditation. Good surprise to have I guess. After class I spoke with Aviel. He wasn't feeling too well, so we post-poned our practice teaching session which actually was a relief. I was happy to have the day free to go grocery shopping, enjoy a walk and catch up on some more reading.
Yoga Meal: After I went grocery shopping I came home and cut open a grapefruit. I ate both halves of it without any added sugar, just as it was. I made sure to enjoy the juice left from the remaining pulp inside the rind, which I squeezed into my bowl. After waiting several minutes I found that I was still hungry so I prepare a bowl of almond granola with whole fat yogurt. This was very satisfying. I remained seated throughout my meal (aside from getting up to prepare the bowl of granola). I had no interruptions/did not speak to anyone while I was eating. I was not rushed and was able to take the time to consider each bite. I savored the richness present in each of the items I chose for my meal. Overall, a success!
Gratitude: Thankful for this long weekend, 4 days. Time with loved ones. Time alone. Enjoyed a fireplace, a few walks, several cups of tea. Met my goal of drinking eight glasses of water three days in a row now. Met my sleep goal each night over this break as well (despite being kept up late with a house party next door last night and a house party here on Wednesday). Hoping I can bring the energy and wellness with me into this week. Heading to bed now so I can wake up refreshed and ready to give tomorrow/next week my all. Peace be to all. Happiness be with all. May there be less suffering and more understanding in our world. Goodnight.
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