Day 4: Sept. 25, 2013

Daily Yoga Meal Record:
9/25  Breakfast.  8:30 a.m. Piece of toast with Nutella, bowl of Greek yoghurt with dried cherries.
Remained seated. Yes✓ No.
Refrained from conversation while chewing. Yes✓ No.
Refrained from external distractions. Yes✓ No.
Waited until food was chewed before taking next bite. Yes✓ No.
Refrained from putting more than two handfuls of food on my plate. Yes✓ No.
Waited 3-5 min. to see if I wanted any more food. Satiated? Yes✓ No.
Waited 2-6 hours before next meal. ✓

Comments:  I sat alone this morning.  I enjoyed the texture of my food, especially the dried cherries.  During our practice on Sunday/introduction to yogi meals we all focused our attention on eating one raisin (I don't particularly like raisins, but the practice was amazing)!  Taking the time to bite, taste and feel the texture of the fruit change in my mouth was invigorating.  The toast had good crunch (there were seeds on the crust) and the Nutella was a great chocolatey treat. This meal was only sufficient for a few hours.  I needed to take an early lunch today to re-fuel (no wonder, I did not choose highly caloric foods).



Daily Meditation Record:
9/25   8:45 a.m. after breakfast.  In living room.

Set phone for twenty minute pop-up reminder.  Had a LOT of chatter in my mind today.  Doubts about work.  Recalling dreams from the night where I interacted with people I have not seen in a while.  One dream specifically where Anna had a new job and she was really good at selling things to people/up-selling.  I was not upset by this but I was recalling how detached I felt from her.  I brought my focus back to my breath.  I could hear myself counting one-two; in-out.  Different variations of on and off beat exclamations of breath.  The dishwasher was running in the background.  I could sense the light streaming in from the window although my eyes were closed.  I could sense the warmth of the sunlight.  Kept bringing focus back to breath.  Very antsy.  Anxious to get on to "the next thing."  Relieved when 20 min. were up.  A little disappointed by my practice/lack of patience.  I dedicated minutes 21-25 to mettā-meditation.  This portion was centered on self-improvement wishes for expanding attention span, patience and wishing well to others throughout the day.  I headed off to work shortly thereafter; after I pulled up and walked to the door I heard myself wishing "may I serve others to the best of my ability.  May I be a good example to others and learn from others today."



Daily Practice:
9/25  8:15.  Slow Burn.  Highland Park.  Instructor: (?  I don't know if she mentioned her name.)

This class was geared towards personal creativity.  We were encouraged to go with the flow and do whatever pose felt right and natural.  I kept my eyes closed for 2/3 of the practice.  The very last sequence before shavasana was trying.  I struggled to hold lower plank and balance poses such as tree.  Usually I'm good at balance poses but tonight was not one of those nights.

During Shavasana  (Corpse pose)  I found myself crying.  My mind was not silent.  There was music on in the background... when there is music playing during a practice I have trouble disassociating from it.  I usually find myself empathizing/internalizing the lyrics :/

I am grateful for the perspective/the thoughts that were evoked.  It was a cathartic release in which I recognized my deep love for both of my parents.  I don't know why I come to the realization in shavasana but I always seem to become absorbed by the awareness of the current moment and how it will not last (transience).   I think of my deep love and appreciation for my parents and I am saddened deeply by the thought of separation.  Neither of them has died, but accepting that death will someday be a part of my life is overwhelming -- I am not THERE yet -- I don't know why I put myself there emotively.  I guess I just want to be ready for it/get it out of my system in advance.  Grieve so that I might celebrate more in their living now.

[Upon reflection: This week my Dad packs up his belongings and leaves Cass Lake to go do interim ministry in Iowa.  Perhaps now is the time I grieve that change.  Moving/relocating is always difficult for me to cope with.  Even when it's not me who is doing the moving.  I think it's just that it is so much easier to "know" that someone somewhere specific; in my mental map it has been Cass Lake for the past 10 years.  Although that is not close by, now he will be living somewhere I don't have on my mental map.  It's a little disorienting.  I need to work on LETTING GO.]



Daily Gratitude: 
Thank you God for the gift of my parents.  Their guidance and nurturing has been invaluable to my development.  Thank you for the power of music.  I appreciate the passion behind Jewel and Des'ree today.  Old albums, great expressions.  Strong women.  I don't know what they are up to in music now but in the 90s their music was prevalent in my life.  Today, their songs were at the top of my list.  I am also grateful for Kiki.  She has been a great support to me.  I have had a lot of doubt lately at Juut; she allows me to verbally process the obstacles I encounter and doesn't appear impatient or upset with me.  Nikki has also been a great support.  I am happy to have gotten the chance to sleep in today and take a bath!  That was a treat!  My muscles were sore and I did that before I came downstairs to eat breakfast, I should remember how helpful that was.