Day 55: Nov. 15, 2013

I need to study; write a paper; practice and meditate.  I need to sleep.  I need to eat.  It's amazing how time can pass and one can accomplish very little... :(

Day 51 and 53: Nov. 11 and Nov. 13, 2013

[This is a recap, written on Nov. 30. 2013]

I remember that after work this day I went to visit Katelyn at Juut for a haircut.  I was feeling nervous all day about this pending visit mainly because I was not sure I could handle running into my former boss.  So I stopped at Byerly's beforehand and picked out a card and a small try of cupcakes.  Then I had dinner with my mother at Z Pizza and while we were there one of the employees offered us a pizza that they had made but no one had claimed, so I took that with to Juut as well.  It was fun coming to visit.  Arriving with gifts elevated my mood and made running into people more enjoyable.  I had a lot of energy and enjoyed seeing those who were there.  I even exchanged pleasantries with my former boss who was surprised to see me.  I am so grateful to feel welcomed there and to have overcome my fear of going back for the first time.

After my haircut I went to the 8:15 Yin class.  I don't remember much now as I am writing this several days later but I know that I was glad to have gone.  It felt good to have time dedicated to practice and not to rush into it after being sick that weekend.


On Wednesday, Nov. 13 I went to the 4:30 Slow Burn class directly after work, which went really well.  I then went to Lunds to buy a salad and headed over to Jen's house for dinner.  She made homemade macaroni and cheese which was amazing, it had peppers, broccoli, red onions and crumbled Ritz crackers in it, not to mention a sharp white cheddar cheese sauce, so good!  I will have to try to recreate this on my own.  Hadn't seen her for a long while, so that was fun to reconnect.  It inspired future visits over the coming week (her dinner party a week later and then going to see Catching Fire).  That evening she, Patrick and I played a LOTR board game.  It took a little while to learn how it worked but it was fun!  I was very tired by the time we finished playing, I think it was almost 11 p.m.  Ceri made it home so we caught up with her for a little bit, then I headed home to sleep.  I remember feeling tired the next day but I don't recall many details for the rest of the week since I did not journal daily.

Day 50: Nov. 10, 2013

I stayed home from class today.  I woke up with a headache and a fever.  I didn't exhibit any of the other symptoms Bryce and Pippa have had this week (hoarse voice, coughing) – so I am thankful for that.  Spent most of the day in bed or on the couch.  When I was not sleeping, I read and drank tea or orange juice.  While I did not go to class, I did get my meditation in :)

I originally woke up at 6:30 this morning, after taking some ibuprofen and drinking two tall glasses of water, I sat in the living room to meditate.  It was a good practice; still dark outside and my housemates were asleep.  I did not set an alarm this time but managed to sit still for 25 minutes before stirring.  It was a calm time, my mind was not busy for once.  I tried not to fixate on my headache or fever but simply my breath.  It was a good experience.  I know thoughts arose but I was able to put them aside, as I am not remembering them now.  I did dedicate the last few minutes of my practice towards gratitude.

Despite being sick and not going to class, I tried to keep myself on track with meals.  I did eat breakfast (a bowl of granola and yogurt) lunch and dinner (left over tortellini with green beans).  For lunch I ate the last of the leftover quinoa chili with a slice of whole grain bread.  It could just be that I am suddenly sensitive to beans or spice (or that the chili was too old, it was made last Sunday) but my digestive tract experienced quite a bit of gas, which was uncomfortable not to mention embarrassing.  Oh well.

I am grateful that I could take the day to rest and recover so I can have good energy to go into the week.  I spent a good amount of time this morning trying to decide whether it would be best to push through class with a fever or stay in bed (I'm SO glad I convinced myself to take a sick day – others would not have appreciated me sharing my sickness).  I just didn't want to get behind in my studies.  I won't.  Jan was kind enough to email me back today with a list of the classes scheduled at Highland Park – when I looked online there was only a small portion listed...  I think I will start the week slowly by attending the Yin class tomorrow night at 8:15, so as to wind down and sleep soundly Monday night.  Tuesday I want to go to Slow Burn (the Hot Vinyasa Flow might be too vigorous for me yet while I recover, but we'll see) and Wednesday I might do one or two classes (there are several back-to-back in the evening).  On Thursday I think I would like to attend the Hatha Class and Friday I would like to try the evening candlelight class.

I am thankful for the quiet day I was able to spend at home, mostly by myself.  I feel much better than when I woke up, but I still have a slight headache (and am still gassy – gross).  Thankful that I was able to see Mom and Deb yesterday and share a meal with them.  Thankful that I was able to see Heather on Friday for a few minutes, good to reconnect with Juut friends.  Looking forward to seeing Katelyn tomorrow.  Hoping I will get a chance to work on my list of members  this week so as to improve our time card system...  I know it's best not to reinvent the wheel but I definitely think my idea has potential to create better efficiency in the task of monitoring entries.  I pray that I will have the patience to learn old systems this week and work with them a bit before I suggest any more new strategies.  I am grateful I work in an environment where my colleagues value my input (although they might challenge my ideas, they trust me/let me try).  Grateful to be going to bed early here.  Proud to have rested so much today, eaten well for the most part and drank a lot of liquids; hopefully this bug will be purged as I sleep tonight.  My prayers are with Marisa and Maggie; I am sorry to hear of their separate losses.  May everyone rest well tonight – wishing everyone a good week ahead.

Day 49 : Nov. 9, 2013

I am exhausted today.  It has been a great first week at work but I have had to let things go as far as yoga daily disciplines (I know this is a no-no but I've had to).  I practiced a few days but have found for my need to acclimate to work and my new schedule I was not able to keep up on every component.  I was feeling guilty about this until yesterday when I had a conversation with my mother who said she expected as much, or rather was hoping I would take the time I needed to adjust and not burn myself out.

I have given a lot of my energy to this practice, especially when I was unemployed last month.  It is not that I am abruptly stopping now but I have to create a new structure, new boundaries to make my practice work with my life.  I have found that I am not at this particular moment wanting to focus on teaching/learning how to teach.  At some point I might be ready to lead others but right now I just want to focus on my own understanding and get a thorough grip on my own philosophy and practice.

My body is resisting; my mind is resisting.  I feel like I have hit a wall.  Whenever I come to meditation or savasana I am reminded that I want to feel connected with the unity of all and find more meaning in my daily living.  I am experiencing more gratitude and awareness; I am very present in my body.  Right now I feel unwell, which signifies I need a time out.  Earlier I would have said to myself "you need to push through this" but right now I think the opposite is needed.  I need to prevent getting sick by resting and restoring myself.  It is not that my work is taking it out of me, it is just how I deal with change – absorbing new information and taking on new projects = energy spent.  I need to carve out time for me and that has meant doing less physical work/asanas this week, less time spent journaling and more time spent quietly sitting by myself or in the company of others.

Day 45: Nov. 5, 2013

Remember, remember the fifth of November, gunpowder, treason and plot.  Okay, had to do that;  it was on my mind all day.  Also:  VOTE!  Mid-term elections were today.

A little disappointed since Andrew and I were going to spend time together this evening but he was called into work.  Anyway, I get to relax this evening which is very nice.  I was so tired this morning, I was not ready to wake up for work at 5:00 a.m. despite my alarm.  I sat up in bed and meditated for 20 minutes before starting my day.  Did not do my yoga asanas until after work in the evening.  It was cold outside and I did not feel like driving to Lifetime for a class (we were supposed to get a snow storm; it hasn't started yet but it's wet and cold out there).

My body was very resistant during my home practice tonight.  It could just be that I am in the cold/not a warm studio but I felt like despite my effort my body did not get warm/loosen up.  I was working hard to breathe deeply.  I did appreciate all of my forward folds in Sun Salutation A/B and standing/seated postures.  My lower back was evidently tight from Sunday's practice (I did feel tight yesterday but today was more noticeable; yesterday I was more fixated on my shoulders/upper arms being sore).  Not sure who I will get to practice/practice teaching with this week.

Yoga Meal Record:  This morning for breakfast I diced an apple and put half of it in a bowl of instant oatmeal.  I added 1/4 cup leftover quinoa to my oatmeal to make it more hearty.  Yesterday's breakfast did not hold me long enough/I was hungry within two hours (I wanted to be sure to make it to my lunch break).  I remember sitting in our dimly lit living room.  It was nice to hold on to the warm bowl, as it was another chilly morning.  The apples and quinoa gave me something extra to chew and consider (texture, flavor; number of bites before swallowing greatly increased).  I started eating breakfast around 5:40 a.m. and finished by 5:55 a.m.  then it was time to get ready/dressed for the day.

Gratitude:  Grateful for Roger's guidance today and for Tina's sense of humor/willingness to work with me/let me steer (use the computer; we only have one set up in the office for the two of us so far).  It isn't easy for me to sit... as an "Achiever"  I like to be constantly accomplishing tasks, otherwise I feel like I am wasting my time/abilities.  Thankful for Andrew's text regarding his change of availability so I could make other plans for my evening.  Came home to Bryce and Pippa's and there was  glorious fire in the fireplace.  So happy I get to sit now and relax after my shower.  I might read a book before going to sleep but I should be mindful of the time – last night I found myself still wide awake at 10:30 when the power suddenly went out; I think that was the universe's little reminder that I should keep my schedule ;)

Day 44: Nov. 4, 2013

First day at work.  Woke up several times last night, I think I was just too excited and couldn't sleep.  Finally got out of bed at 5:00 a.m.  Sat silently until 5:30 a.m. in meditation.  Went downstairs and ate some instant oatmeal with brown sugar.  5:45 a.m. I went back upstairs and put on dress pants and a sweater.  By 6:00 a.m. I was in the bathroom fixing my hair and makeup.  6:15 a.m. I was ready to leave the house.  I drove Pippa to Kopplin's to meet Bryce; I did order an apple cider as a treat to start my day.  I drove down to Cretin then to 94 E.  Traffic was light (due to the early nature of the day) and I arrived outside my work at 6:45 a.m, fifteen minutes early.  I went inside and saw Sam and Al right away.  I was shown where I could hang up my coat, then Al gave me a tour around the space.  It is actually quite a large space; there is a training facility attached, that is for the four-year apprenticeship program (the "school" year is Saturdays Sept–Feb).

I learned about timecards today (union members have to send them in each week in order to track/get credit for their pensions).  Tina and I spent several hours working on the newsletter, folding and compiling stacks of letters, then preparing them to be mailed.  Evidently this happens at the beginning of every month.  A newsletter goes out with important notices, assessment letters are sent out requesting mortuary payments if the member is a participant in the fund...  If time cards are missing/overdue,  reminders are sent.  If members fail to submit their information after a length of time, they are assessed fines.   Everyone in the office is pleasant and hard working, even a bit playful.  I did encounter one member who was a little rough on the phone, but I was forewarned that their members do not have the best etiquette.

At 3:30 p.m. it was time to go home.  Tina and I have the option of working four 10 hour days or five 8 hour days.  This week it will be five 8s.  We will see how this works out and make adjustments as we deem necessary.  I learned that they ARE looking to hire us on after the probationary period;  they are using the temp. agency to conduct the background checks, etc.  because their last office person evidently made some very poor choices that were caught "just in time."  Not exactly sure to what this alludes, but they said "if the department of labor comes in to check on things, we would be fine because we were hired after-the-fact."

Daily Practice:  Did 5 Sun As and 5 Sun Bs, very sore today after yesterday's practice, especially in my neck, upper arms, shoulders and abs.

Daily Yoga Meal:  Made Quinoa Chili with Pippa.  It was VERY spicy (but like she said, eat spicy food, keep sickness at bay)!  We did watch an episode of Big Bang Theory, which was fun since I hadn't seen that show in a while.  I know we are not supposed to engage in distractions during yoga meals but on the plus side at work I ate alone and focused just on my meal during my lunch break (no distractions; one bite at a time).  I'm just trying to expand my yoga meal practice into more than one meal a day.  It is nice to eat with others and it is fun to take the time to watch occasional entertainment, we don't do it every day, or even every week for that matter.   During dinner I had a decent portion, at most 2/3 cup of chili (it had diced tomatoes from our garden), garlic, green chilies, yellow onion, coriander, cumin, paprika, cayenne pepper, salt, ground pepper, quinoa, black beans, kidney beans, a hint of lime juice, canned corn.  If anything, I would have enjoyed some milk, cheese or sour cream with this dish (as I stated earlier it was just a bit too spicy for me).

Gratitude:  Very pleased to have gone to work today.  I enjoyed every aspect of it; waking up early in this quiet world when the traffic is hushed, neighbors aren't yet moving around...  Cradling a bowl of hot oatmeal in the chill of morning.  I feel like I was able to create a little sacred space for myself today.  I enjoyed my commute and arriving early at the office.  It was nice to not be rushed and to watch the sun rise.  I am grateful for the cup of coffee I had at work, Al was nice enough to offer it to me, so I enjoyed it mid-day and it was very flavorful.  I enjoyed sorting letters and greeting members.   I am thankful for the group being so welcoming and understanding that I am new (I must remind myself/remember I can only accomplish so much in a day and I should be proud of my accomplishments–their measurability will surely be different than at Juut).  I am thankful for the time I have had this evening.  Already it is 9:15 p.m. and I need to be thinking about sleep/preparing for tomorrow.

Day 43: Nov. 3, 2013

Had a busy day with YTT;  started at 9 a.m. instead of 11:00.  Had a vinyasa flow class, led by Jason (assisted by Jan).  It was a 90 minute class and I definitely broke a sweat.  At one point (about 75 minutes into the class) I felt dizzy and nauseous; I think I was just dehydrated, so I took a drink of water and then went into child's pose for a break and continued to focus on my breathing.

We did not take time as a group to meditate but after lunch we had another class together, a 60 minute Yin yoga class.  Not much time today was focused on teaching but we observed/practiced: providing guidance (step by step instructions), giving reminders (breath/movement pattern discussed but not specific instructions) and allowing students to flow on their own (listing benefits of sequence).

My neck and upper back is stiff, I think from dolphin pose;  it might also have been from sphinx/seal pose.  Will be sleeping well tonight though as my body is exhausted.  Will journal more tomorrow after my first shift at the new job.

Yoga Meal:  Ate a cup of soup from Byerly's (it was almost like a pot roast with roast beef, potatoes, carrots, onions) and some fruit/vegetables from the salad bar (beets, raspberries, blueberries, pomegranate and two pieces of fresh mozzarella).  I was still hungry but did not want to go back and do Yin yoga on a full stomach, so stopped there.  I ate dinner at home about 5 hours later (had leftover curry for dinner, so was satiated then).

Gratitude:  Very thankful for all the time Jason and Jan gave to us today.  I loved our discussion as a group on the seven axioms of Life Power Yoga:

1. You're exactly where you're supposed to be.  Law of Karma. 
2. Everything/everyone is connected.
3. Exercise and rest are essential for health/vibrant living.
4. Laugher and play are nature's fountain of youth.
5. Fear and pain are some of life's greatest teachers.
6. Touch and intimacy are deep human needs.
7. All things are impermanent/all things change.