“The Buddha always emphasized that he taught only what he experienced by direct knowledge, and he encouraged others to develop such knowledge themselves, to become their own authorities: 'Each of you, make yourself an island, make yourself your refuge; there is no other refuge. Make truth your island, make truth your refuge; there is no other refuge.' ” – William Hart, The Art of Living
Mind Matters Most
As I was sitting the other night, listening to my housemates talk about metaphysics and
science, I could not help but notice my split attention. “I” was interested in their conversation but
“I” also noticed a separation or disassociation within myself, which normally only occurs during
deep states of meditation. Although I existed in that moment with a group of people, the sensations I
gathered from within reminded me of a greater truth: that I am not this body, or rather, I am the
observer that witnesses this experience. I have known this before, but I frequently forget. I found
myself smiling as I remember Yogi Ramacharaka's words, they are perfect in conjunction with my
friends' conversation:
All is in constant vibration. From the tiniest atom to the greatest sun, everything is in a state of vibration. There is nothing in absolute rest in nature. A single atom deprived of vibration would wreck the universe. In incessant vibration universal work is performed. Matter is being constantly played upon by energy and countless forms and numberless varieties result, and yet even the forms and varieties are not permanent. They begin to change the moment they are created, and from them are born innumerable forms, which in turn change and give rise to new forms, and so on and on, in infinite succession. Nothing is permanent in the world of forms, and yet the great Reality is unchangeable. Forms are but appearances─they come, they go, but the Reality is eternal and unchangeable.While my friends excitedly chattered about our elemental nature, the development of technology and the evolution of our race (i.e. Moore's Law and the point at which humanity will reach the technological singularity within the coming century), I recognized what mattered in that instant: “I” did not have to come into the conversation. In other words, my ego did not have to contribute. I just listened and as I listened I rode a wave of realization, sensing a greater pattern of being and witnessing the universe encompassed. With the rise and fall of each breath I sensed the ultimate reality of matter; kalāpas passing in and out of existence.
The atoms of the human body are in constant vibration. Unceasing changes are occurring. In a few months there is almost a complete change in the matter composing the body, and scarcely a single atom now composing your body will be found in it a few months hence. Vibration, constant vibration. Change, constant change (Ramacharaka 55).
...
As a young child I had a great sensitivity to oneness. It is with age and doubt that my
inherent understanding became blocked. The following is an account of a particular memory which
illustrates how peace and understanding can suddenly disappear or become inaccessible due to fear.
I share this now because it links to my current understanding of mind and how powerful unaccounted thoughts can be in assisting or negating our happiness.
Sitting in my first grade classroom, staring above the chalk board at the listing of numbers from zero to nine and the letters of the alphabet; I was not listening to my teacher, instead I actively pondered the question: Who or what was God? As the daughter of a Lutheran pastor, I was being raised with a particular understanding of the Creator and of my own mortality. Upon asking this question, I found myself led to a greater question: If God created me, who created God? Was God alone, producing God – or did God have parents too? I had flashes of insight with which I came to understand that there was no elicit beginning or end to existence and that I was not separate from God, or rather that God was the name for an experience of oneness, the source of life of which I was experiencing.
I suddenly became afraid that my questions were not allowed or that my vision would separate me from my parents and others I loved since I felt they would not understand my liberal view. It was at this point I felt as if a wall closed up or that something fogged my conception of spirit. Although I now still hold to the truth I found that day – that there is nothing but our oneness – I share this experience because it shows the power of our mind and the limits we impose upon ourselves due to fear and how easily peace of mind can be disturbed. Our own thoughts alone have the power to shake us out of sync with inherent understanding and therefore we create our own suffering.
For years I wanted a revelation, to be fed an answer. I wanted to be told what I was supposed to do with my life and have my vocation become clear to me. I searched by all means known to me: fervently whispering prayers, asking friends and confidants, as well as consulting my horoscope in the newspaper. All I found was my own frustration. For years I was on antidepressant medications which numbed my ability to feel and blocked my libido and creative spirit. Slowly, I have slowly learned to live an unmedicated life and have begun to experience a full range of emotion. I have found that I can trust my gut, learning that no thing and no one else can be my teacher.
Beyond any other tool I have found, yoga and meditation have helped me overcome mental suffering. I have learned that suffering is caused by attachment to people, ideas, things or wishes. Furthermore, my mental suffering occurs most when “I” am holding fast to a sense of identity or a need to be right, as well as the false notion that life should be stable and unchanging. All of these core myths form the source of discontent in my life. When I am not paying attention, I forfeit clarity and am overtaken by Ego, neediness and clinging. Fortunately, I have found freedom in the realization that:
I share this now because it links to my current understanding of mind and how powerful unaccounted thoughts can be in assisting or negating our happiness.
Sitting in my first grade classroom, staring above the chalk board at the listing of numbers from zero to nine and the letters of the alphabet; I was not listening to my teacher, instead I actively pondered the question: Who or what was God? As the daughter of a Lutheran pastor, I was being raised with a particular understanding of the Creator and of my own mortality. Upon asking this question, I found myself led to a greater question: If God created me, who created God? Was God alone, producing God – or did God have parents too? I had flashes of insight with which I came to understand that there was no elicit beginning or end to existence and that I was not separate from God, or rather that God was the name for an experience of oneness, the source of life of which I was experiencing.
I suddenly became afraid that my questions were not allowed or that my vision would separate me from my parents and others I loved since I felt they would not understand my liberal view. It was at this point I felt as if a wall closed up or that something fogged my conception of spirit. Although I now still hold to the truth I found that day – that there is nothing but our oneness – I share this experience because it shows the power of our mind and the limits we impose upon ourselves due to fear and how easily peace of mind can be disturbed. Our own thoughts alone have the power to shake us out of sync with inherent understanding and therefore we create our own suffering.
For years I wanted a revelation, to be fed an answer. I wanted to be told what I was supposed to do with my life and have my vocation become clear to me. I searched by all means known to me: fervently whispering prayers, asking friends and confidants, as well as consulting my horoscope in the newspaper. All I found was my own frustration. For years I was on antidepressant medications which numbed my ability to feel and blocked my libido and creative spirit. Slowly, I have slowly learned to live an unmedicated life and have begun to experience a full range of emotion. I have found that I can trust my gut, learning that no thing and no one else can be my teacher.
Beyond any other tool I have found, yoga and meditation have helped me overcome mental suffering. I have learned that suffering is caused by attachment to people, ideas, things or wishes. Furthermore, my mental suffering occurs most when “I” am holding fast to a sense of identity or a need to be right, as well as the false notion that life should be stable and unchanging. All of these core myths form the source of discontent in my life. When I am not paying attention, I forfeit clarity and am overtaken by Ego, neediness and clinging. Fortunately, I have found freedom in the realization that:
The real Self is not the body or even the mind of man. These things are but a part of his personality, the lesser self... The real Self is independent of the body, which it inhabits, and is even independent of the mechanism of the mind, which it uses as an instrument. The real Self is a drop from the Divine Ocean, and is eternal and indestructible. It cannot die or be annihilated, and no matter what becomes of the body, the real Self still exists. It is the Soul. Do not think of your Soul as a thing apart from you, for YOU are the Soul, and the body is the unreal and transitory part of you which is changing in material every day, and which you will someday discard. You may develop the faculties so that they will be conscious of the reality of the Soul, and its independence of the body. The Yogi plan for such development is by meditation upon the real Self or Soul, accompanied by rhythmic breathing (Ramacharaka 74).
While I do continue to experience moments of anger, fear, frustration and sadness, I recognize these
as emotional states and try not to associate with them. Through intentional practice, being mindful
of breath and empathatically listening, observing life as it is, I have expanded myself and returned to
my natural state of joy. “I” have accomplished this by establishing rituals and remaining calm in the
face of change. “I” used to struggle with change, but “I” have cultivated an ability to go with the
flow. Fear has subsided and has been replaced with trust. Whenever balance is lost, I return to my
practice and find that “I” am exactly where “I” need to be.
To develop this state of awareness is one thing, to wish it for others must be the next step in my personal evolution of spirit. This last week, we had a friend move into our home. He has a dog. I was surprised to witness this dog's experience of attachment. The dog crys and bays with prolonged tones of sadness whenever his owner leaves, be it morning or night. He does not trust that his owner will return; he does not like or accept this new space, or rather he does not understand it is his new home. He is not content with the present moment. In essence, this dog is displaying antithesis of my yogic experience.
I wish to some extent that I could bring this animal out of suffering, however I cannot permeate his awareness. I can sit with him and be a companion, but I cannot change the way he perceives himself in this space and time. Now, I know I am speaking about a dog's experience of attachment and suffering but the same can be true when we sit or walk with other people. As the Buddha said:
I do not carry anyone on my shoulders to take him to the final goal. Nobody can carry anyone else on his shoulders to the final goal. At most, with love and compassion one can say, “Well, this is the path, and this is how I have walked on it. You also work, you also walk, and you will reach the final goal.” But each person has to walk himself, has to take every step on the path himself. He who has taken one step on the path is one nearer the goal. He who has taken one hundred steps is one hundred steps nearer the goal. He who has taken all the steps on the path has reached the final goal. You have to walk on the path yourself” (Hart 23).
We must remember that words of wisdom from others act as simply as fingers pointing at the moon, not the moon itself. We must remember that actual experience, first-hand is the only way to knowing. While my well wishes cannot free this animal from suffering, perhaps my story about desiring freedom from anguish will lighten your spirit and help you to create space for others who likewise cannot be carried down the path of liberation; they must walk the path themselves.
In Everyday Zen: Love and Work, Charlotte Joko Beck kindly points out the dualisms we like to entertain – “that there's me and then there's life outside of me.” To overcome this delusion she stresses the importance of individual practice. We must sit with ourselves. For “as long as we approach our lives in this way we will bend all of our efforts to finding something or somebody else to handle our lives for us” (Beck 39-40). Sitting is not always pleasant but we must do the work. It is only by sitting that we realize that we can recognize the ultimate reality of oneness. By sitting we can overcome our fears and anxieties, learning to recognize them as they are and not let them steer our mind. Instead we use our mind as a tool. Yoga is about persistence; learning to harnessing the wild horses of our thoughts, taking the reins and breathing into focus the present moment. In
To develop this state of awareness is one thing, to wish it for others must be the next step in my personal evolution of spirit. This last week, we had a friend move into our home. He has a dog. I was surprised to witness this dog's experience of attachment. The dog crys and bays with prolonged tones of sadness whenever his owner leaves, be it morning or night. He does not trust that his owner will return; he does not like or accept this new space, or rather he does not understand it is his new home. He is not content with the present moment. In essence, this dog is displaying antithesis of my yogic experience.
I wish to some extent that I could bring this animal out of suffering, however I cannot permeate his awareness. I can sit with him and be a companion, but I cannot change the way he perceives himself in this space and time. Now, I know I am speaking about a dog's experience of attachment and suffering but the same can be true when we sit or walk with other people. As the Buddha said:
I do not carry anyone on my shoulders to take him to the final goal. Nobody can carry anyone else on his shoulders to the final goal. At most, with love and compassion one can say, “Well, this is the path, and this is how I have walked on it. You also work, you also walk, and you will reach the final goal.” But each person has to walk himself, has to take every step on the path himself. He who has taken one step on the path is one nearer the goal. He who has taken one hundred steps is one hundred steps nearer the goal. He who has taken all the steps on the path has reached the final goal. You have to walk on the path yourself” (Hart 23).
We must remember that words of wisdom from others act as simply as fingers pointing at the moon, not the moon itself. We must remember that actual experience, first-hand is the only way to knowing. While my well wishes cannot free this animal from suffering, perhaps my story about desiring freedom from anguish will lighten your spirit and help you to create space for others who likewise cannot be carried down the path of liberation; they must walk the path themselves.
In Everyday Zen: Love and Work, Charlotte Joko Beck kindly points out the dualisms we like to entertain – “that there's me and then there's life outside of me.” To overcome this delusion she stresses the importance of individual practice. We must sit with ourselves. For “as long as we approach our lives in this way we will bend all of our efforts to finding something or somebody else to handle our lives for us” (Beck 39-40). Sitting is not always pleasant but we must do the work. It is only by sitting that we realize that we can recognize the ultimate reality of oneness. By sitting we can overcome our fears and anxieties, learning to recognize them as they are and not let them steer our mind. Instead we use our mind as a tool. Yoga is about persistence; learning to harnessing the wild horses of our thoughts, taking the reins and breathing into focus the present moment. In
developing our capacity to observe and remain focused, we become more powerful than the citta
vrittis in our mind.
Through practice we can separate ourselves from our emotions by creating “A Bigger Container.” That means stepping back and observing our experience. What is then created is an increased capacity for holding space without getting upset or becoming dominated by our thoughts. This is the path to freedom. “Having more and more contact with this reality always brings compassion for others and changes our daily life. We live differently, work differently, relate to people differently. Zen is a lifelong study. It isn't just sitting on the cushion for thirty or forty minutes a day. Our whole life becomes practice, twenty-four hours a day” (Beck 6). For me, life is beginning to be experienced in this way, constant practice. As Rumi says, “Don't go back to sleep!”
I have tried explaining this essay topic to my loved ones who have been curious about my
studies and growth along the yogic path. My Father and his wife in particular grappled with the
thesis. “I don't agree with the premise,” says one; “I don't think one should have to practice mind
control” says the other. These statements are contradictory in themselves and are indicative of a lack
of understanding.
True, the premise mind matters most may appear a loaded statement but that is only for those who find it so. As Aviel pointed out in class, if used without context the statement “mind matters most” can be heard as devaluing, implicitly meaning that all other perspectives do not matter or somehow matter less. It is important to realize that those who are threatened by this idea do not understand what it is getting at. Whether or not the mind matters to you personally, it is all how you take it, and by you I mean the response of our Ego. Is the Ego reactive or non-reactive? My Dad thinks that the mind is the same as intuition or gut feeling and that should not be hindered, it should be listened to. I agree; we should “listen” to our minds, but we must also recognize how the mind can become overly influential or overshadow our understanding if we fail to take a step back to disassociate with our Ego. If we aren't paying attention, we can easily let fear or anger “drive our car.”
Finally there was a concern for the use of material in response to this topic. It is being addressed here because is an example of perception. Being a clergy person and a loving parent, my Father suggested that I use passages from the Bible to “be sure to investigate and include a Christian perspective.” While again I appreciate the sentiment, I cannot speak from a particular perspective at this time. In fact, I am not speaking or thinking from any particular perspective at all. The material I am using now I have come across as a result of my studies; using a Christian lens is not where I am at right now. If it were I would use it, but since I have not, I will not. It simply does not matter. In order to live with open-mindedness we must learn to step back, listen and learn but not cling to or overvalue one perspective over another.
While wisdom can be found in the words of others, it is important that we become our own authorities. As William Hart says, “The highest authority is one's own experience of truth. Nothing should be accepted on faith alone; we have to examine to see whether it is logical, practical, beneficial. Nor having examined a teaching by means of our reason is it sufficient to accept as true intellectually. If we are to benefit from the truth, we have to experience it directly. Only then can we know it is really true.” (Hart 14-15). With experience I can assert that all the yogic axioms I have come into contact with are true. These truths can be experienced and are not in conflict with any religion or lifestyle that I can think of.
Freedom can only come from within and with practice. Sola fide does not apply. We cannot expect to experience liberation without effort. Simply having faith in the Buddha [or Jesus or any other spiritual leader, i.e. person who has mastered the mind] or his teachings will not help to free us from suffering; neither will a merely intellectual understanding of the path. Both of these are of value only if they inspire us to put the teachings into practice. Only the actual practice... will give concrete results and change our lives for the better (Hart 17). Therefore, it is not enough to simply recognize what sounds like truth coming from others; we must find it for ourselves.
Through practice we can separate ourselves from our emotions by creating “A Bigger Container.” That means stepping back and observing our experience. What is then created is an increased capacity for holding space without getting upset or becoming dominated by our thoughts. This is the path to freedom. “Having more and more contact with this reality always brings compassion for others and changes our daily life. We live differently, work differently, relate to people differently. Zen is a lifelong study. It isn't just sitting on the cushion for thirty or forty minutes a day. Our whole life becomes practice, twenty-four hours a day” (Beck 6). For me, life is beginning to be experienced in this way, constant practice. As Rumi says, “Don't go back to sleep!”
...
True, the premise mind matters most may appear a loaded statement but that is only for those who find it so. As Aviel pointed out in class, if used without context the statement “mind matters most” can be heard as devaluing, implicitly meaning that all other perspectives do not matter or somehow matter less. It is important to realize that those who are threatened by this idea do not understand what it is getting at. Whether or not the mind matters to you personally, it is all how you take it, and by you I mean the response of our Ego. Is the Ego reactive or non-reactive? My Dad thinks that the mind is the same as intuition or gut feeling and that should not be hindered, it should be listened to. I agree; we should “listen” to our minds, but we must also recognize how the mind can become overly influential or overshadow our understanding if we fail to take a step back to disassociate with our Ego. If we aren't paying attention, we can easily let fear or anger “drive our car.”
Finally there was a concern for the use of material in response to this topic. It is being addressed here because is an example of perception. Being a clergy person and a loving parent, my Father suggested that I use passages from the Bible to “be sure to investigate and include a Christian perspective.” While again I appreciate the sentiment, I cannot speak from a particular perspective at this time. In fact, I am not speaking or thinking from any particular perspective at all. The material I am using now I have come across as a result of my studies; using a Christian lens is not where I am at right now. If it were I would use it, but since I have not, I will not. It simply does not matter. In order to live with open-mindedness we must learn to step back, listen and learn but not cling to or overvalue one perspective over another.
While wisdom can be found in the words of others, it is important that we become our own authorities. As William Hart says, “The highest authority is one's own experience of truth. Nothing should be accepted on faith alone; we have to examine to see whether it is logical, practical, beneficial. Nor having examined a teaching by means of our reason is it sufficient to accept as true intellectually. If we are to benefit from the truth, we have to experience it directly. Only then can we know it is really true.” (Hart 14-15). With experience I can assert that all the yogic axioms I have come into contact with are true. These truths can be experienced and are not in conflict with any religion or lifestyle that I can think of.
Freedom can only come from within and with practice. Sola fide does not apply. We cannot expect to experience liberation without effort. Simply having faith in the Buddha [or Jesus or any other spiritual leader, i.e. person who has mastered the mind] or his teachings will not help to free us from suffering; neither will a merely intellectual understanding of the path. Both of these are of value only if they inspire us to put the teachings into practice. Only the actual practice... will give concrete results and change our lives for the better (Hart 17). Therefore, it is not enough to simply recognize what sounds like truth coming from others; we must find it for ourselves.
“The breezes at dawn have secrets to tell you!. Don't go back to sleep!!
You must ask for what you really want.! Don't go back to sleep!!
People are going back and forth across the doorsill where the two worlds touch,! The door is round and open. D! on't go back to sleep!” – Rumi
You must ask for what you really want.! Don't go back to sleep!!
People are going back and forth across the doorsill where the two worlds touch,! The door is round and open. D! on't go back to sleep!” – Rumi
Bibliography
The Art of Living: Vippassana Meditation as Taught by S.N. Goenka. William Hart. Harper Collins, 1987.
“The Breezes at Dawn,” Rumi. 13th Century C.E. Last Accessed 02/19/2014 at https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/77301-the-breezes-at-dawn-have-secrets-to-tell-you-don-t
The Science of Breath. Yogi Ramacharaka. Yogi Press, 2013; original publication 1904.
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